So, due to the below-mentioned DVR, I can cram in twice as much TV in an hour as I used to be able to, and have tried out some of the new Fall offerings:
The Bachelor
So, Bob is supposed to be the anti-bachelor. He's not rich! Or especially handsome! However, he did, like his predecessors, pick the 5 most annoying women from the pool in that first fifteen. Each of the women that we "met" and I thought to myself, "Ew!" he picked. Good job, Bob. However, my pick for the final woman is Lindsay of the Wavy Hair.
Survivor
I loved the first season of Survivor; I watched it on my tiny tiny free TV in my hot hot dorm room that first summer, and was captivated. Then, I got bored with it in subsequent seasons and didn't really watch, except during commercial breaks of Friends. So, I've checked out the first two episodes of this Pirating Pearl Islands edition, and it's alright. The pirate theme is interesting, and I enjoy watching Morgan get their ass whipped in challenges over and over again. My pick to win? Trish. Do I have any good reason for picking her? Nah, but she's still my pick.
Friends
Bleah. The season premiere failed to impress. Rachel and Joey are just wrong together, and it makes me feel dirty. I know that they'll break up Ross and his paleotolgist girlfriend so he can be with Rachel, and that sucks too. Bah.
Joan of Arcadia
For a pilot, it wasn't bad. The lead actress is likeable, and it didn't make me feel like I was at Vacation Bible School the way 7th Heaven does. There was an awful lot going on in the pilot, and I fear that it could lean toward the melodramatic. I think if it turns down the "drama," and turns up the "comedy" a little, it could be pretty good. However, does watching a drama that airs on CBS on Fridays (even if I don't watch it until later) make me 80 years old? I fear it might. Don't worry, though, I'm not watching JAG. (Who is, incidentally?)
Law and Order: Criminal Intent
Not much to say here, other than, like all the Law and Orders, I like it, because Dick Wolf has had me wrapped around his *ChaChung* finger since I was in Middle School. But, I love Vincent D'Onofrio's character; he may be the biggest geek on primetime television. Love him.
So, my household has acquired a Digital Video Recorder (DVR). The most popular and well-known DVR is, of course, TiVo, but that was a bit out of our budget. When my cable company began offering their own DVR for a few dollars a month, I decided I had to try it out.
Life will never be the same. Suddenly, hour programs can be watched in 40 minutes. I never have to watch crap I don't want to because there's nothing on. I can watch all the crap I like and have saved up. What's that? Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cast on Oprah while I'm at work? Not a problem. I am in TV heaven. Moreover, the machine can tape two things at once, or tape one thing while I watch another, thus eliminating unfortunate scheduling conflicts. Hooray, technology.
This article details the celebration being thrown in honor of my hometown, Bethany, WV. It's a great little town, and I mean it no disrespect, but it's hilarious to me that it mentions that they are closing Main Street for the festivities. Main Street has no traffic lights. It will probably affect, oh, no one, since anyone who is ever in town will know about the celebration. I love that they're only fixing enough food for 200 people--that's pretty much the actual in-town population. My hometown is adorable.
Fametracker, a fabulous site, has a feature called "2 Stars 1 Slot" where they compare two stars who could be exchanged for one another. They have another feature called "Fame Audit" where they evaluate where a celebrity is in their career. I was recently inspired to totally steal their excellent ideas and do a mini Fame Audit of my own. Sorry, Fametracker.
Erika Christensen and Thora Birch.
These two young women both had their big breaks in Oscar nominated films. Christensen was in Traffic, Birch in American Beauty. Both turned in very good performances in those films, in my opinion. They then were in other films, doing other things (Christensen in Swimfan, for example, and Birch in Ghost World, where she was pretty darn good). Imagine my horror recently upon stumbling both of them in separate MTV debacles.
Thora Birch is in the new Limp Bizkit video. I hear they've changed their name to limpbizkit. Whatever. However, the image of her being a focal point of Fred Durst's writhing is one I may need to have exorcised from my memory. So hideous. Thora, what were you thinking?
Erika Christensen was in the MTV tv-movie version of Wuthering Heights. Holy terrible acting, Batman. I watched the last fifteen minutes of this the other day as I folded some clothes. Also in it was the guy who plays Francis on Malcolm in the Middle. Both of them were awful, and it saddens me especially about Christensen. However, I think it might be possible to blame the directing since there was nothing redeeming about that film, but I don't understand how a cheesy MTV movie that's an adaptation of a classic book is a good career move.
I think when it all shuffles down, Thora Birch is on steadier footing. Who remembers music videos? And, apparently, Halle Berry is going to be in the next Limp Bizkit video, so perhaps I'm missing the upside on that one...
Loyal readers will notice a little tweaking and a new graphic here at waking slow. I was just ready for a change. Note, however, that I've stuck with my staid grey and black. And some white. Carson would surely mock me for my lack of color (and couture, for that matter) on this web site. Ah, well.
I'm also trying to post a little bit more. I decided that I have no right to wish that my favorite bloggers would update more if I only post an entry a week. We'll see how I do. In any event, drop a line if the site is wonky in your browser.
I totally found this story about Radiohead as interpreted by 10 year olds over at freakgirl. Such a cool experiment, I had to post it here. So go read the story and then go visit freakgirl for more interesting stuff.
R.E.M. has a marvelous new song that I adore. This will not surprise anyone who knows my love of R.E.M., but I really think that "Bad Day" is an improvement on most of Reveal, which I liked a lot. "Bad Day" is marvelously catchy and has a quirky and cool video to boot. I think the backing refrain of "Please don't take a picture" eerily invokes the "It's time I had some time alone" backing of refrain of "It's the End of the World..." Awesome. And, especially awesome was the release of the single to the iTunes music store, allowing me to download it on a particularly bad day of my own.
After watching copies and copies of it being bought during my three-month tenure as a bookstore clerk in 2001, I was resistent to Zadie Smith's White Teeth. She wrote it when she was younger than I am now, and that sort of youthful success causes the jealousy that deters me from reading such successes. So, I waited. Then, I finally bought the novel. I loved it! I absolutely enjoyed it from start to finish.
I was surprised. I do prefer nonfiction in general, and I had my doubts about White Teeth, but the characters were dynamic (I think Irie was my favorite character--or maybe Archie. Or Neena. Neena was cool), and the plot, while not necessarily perfectly tight, was certainly interesting. I have friends who disliked the ending, but I even liked the ending! I especially enjoyed the London setting, I think I learned a lot about the city and its neighborhoods, more so than I ever expected.
Just when I thought the entire world is packed with people and things, I was reminded of the vastness of the sky by this hawk.
For a random reason, I was recently reminded of Stevie Smith's poem "Not Waving But Drowning." I reproduce it here for your benefit:
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
I’ve been negligent in writing up an account of the rest of my time in NYC as a contest winner’s guest. Click “More” to read about my presence at the “live” taping of the Video Head grand prize round.
After our trip to TRL, Al and I had some free time to recuperate before she had to film her 25,000 question that evening. For those scoring at home, they filmed the question and answer segments that were aired during the Video Music Awards (VMAs) the evening before. This required the hosts, the ubiquitous Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, to dress for the VMAs twice, once on Wednesday and once on Thursday for continuities sake.
We headed over to Rockefeller Center where Sean Paul was doing his sound check and waited in a bar that had been turned into a staging area / control room / green room for MTV. We were accompanied by a variety of MTV staffers, all of whom were incredibly friendly and fun. They were also blissfully cynical about everything, which I found hugely reassuring after my earlier visit to the anything-but-cynical TRL experience.
We waited in this room for a while, as monitors and screens showed the MTV VJs practicing their red carpet questions for the following night. I had no idea they did this. I thought I was going to truly crack up when I saw Gideon Yago interviewing a dorky, twenty something white boy pretending to be P. Diddy. Also, whoever (an MTV intern? staffer?) was standing in for Cameron Diaz did a dead-on impression of her, complete with hair flipping and gum chewing. Awesome.
The Video Heads were becoming more nervous and more nervous as they neared their air time. I was distracted briefly by a VP of MTV who, upon finding out that I live in Columbus, Ohio, had to talk to me about Buckeye Football. I cannot escape the Buckeye fans, no matter where I go.
We were soon warned that Jessica and Nick (Simpson, and Lachey, whom I will refer to as intimates from here on out) would soon be arriving, and arrive they did, with an entourage that included a floppy-haired, David Beckham look-alike hair stylist, and other hangers-on. They stayed in the other half of the room, and appeared to prepare finishing touches to their ensembles.
Finally, we were led out to the freaky MTV carousel that was set up in Rockefeller Center. And we waited. And waited. I tried as best I could to get close to where Al and Nick and Jessica would be but this was as close as I could get, since the “audience” that was close to them had been “casted.”
Giuletta went first, and sadly, got the question wrong. Then it was Al’s turn. I couldn’t hear a thing, which was unbelievably frustrating, but soon I saw her on her tiptoes nodding at me, and I knew she knew the answer. This is a picture (blurry, sorry) of her nodding her head to me at that point. After the “commercial break” (aka: the four minutes the contestants were given to choose their answer), it was confirmed that she had indeed won the $25,000!! With the primary goal of our trip accomplished (cash money, baby), I felt relief wash over me (and who was I? Just the guest!) and rested back on my heels and watched the final video head, Veronica, win the bucks as well.
Al seemed to enjoy her time chatting with Nick and Jessica, and I gather from what she said that they are much like you'd expect. However, I did overhear Jessica's stylist say, "we need more double-stick tape."
We went out and celebrated, and slept in on Thursday morning to prepare for our night at the VMAs.
Well, I am back from NYC. Why was I there? My best friend won this contest. She invited me along to be her “guest” on the expenses-paid trip to New York. It was the perfect trip for the two of us, who have shared a love of pop culture (and a love of MTV) that dates back to when MTV only showed videos.
Click "More" for my description of my visit to TRL.
I flew from Columbus, OH to Baltimore on Tuesday morning, and hopped Amtrak to Philadelphia, where I met up with my friend (Alisa, known to me as “Al,” and how I will refer to her from here on). We got on another train (free! Business class!) and were picked up by a sedan outside of Penn Station. We were taken to our hotel, the Doubletree Suites Times Square, where we met Eileen and Kylie, our contacts from the promotional company that ran the contest and our camp counselors of a sort for the next few days.
Our suite was spacious and nice without being intimidating, and was situated on the fortieth floor of the hotel. We had a fabulous view of Times Square and MTV studios. After some sightseeing and eating, we made an early night of it and Al got up early the next morning for a stint with MTV wardrobe. I headed over to MTV around noon to take my place in the audience for Total Request Live (TRL).
At 24, I’m almost twice as old as a typical TRL viewer. The guests for the day were Hilary Duff and Kelly Clarkson. Hilary Duff is, as I understand it, the star of a program on Nickelodeon (Lizzie McGuire, I believe) and is fifteen years old. Kelly Clarkson was the winner of the first American Idol competition. Jessica Simpson also made a brief appearance, but since she haunted me throughout my time in NYC, I'll say more about her later. The TRL experience was interesting. First, one waits in line outside for an indeterminate period of time. I, fortunately, avoided this through my semi-VIP status. Then, once you enter MTV, you go through a security checkpoint. Finally, you wait in line, two by two, in a cramped, hot, hallway. While standing in this line, the two preternaturally blonde and beautiful women who appear to be in charge of the whole production (or, at least in charge of crowd control and audience behavior) seek out enthusiastic types to do “shout outs” on the show. These consist of viewers saying things like, “I love this Christina Aguilera video! It makes me feel so full of energy! I’d like to say hello to all of my friends in Omaha, and my boyfriend Jared! I love you! Wooooooooooo!” The preternaturally blonde and beautiful women (PBBW) then have the shouter-outers practice what they will say and how they will hold the microphone. Once all of the shouter-outers were chosen, we were led into the TRL studio.
Which is…the size of my thumb. It doesn’t look especially large on television, but, believe me, it is teeny tiny. The audience sits on metal bleachers (MTV, sparing no expense). Contrary to my expectations, we were given very few instructions. Our role was simple: sit, applaud, scream, and “woooo!”
Alone, because Al was still somewhere back in the bowels of MTV getting dressed, I felt pretty ridiculous, but did my best “wooo”s that I could muster and tried to blend in. I was glad that I wore a t-shirt and jeans – I think I probably didn’t look 24, but I surely looked older than everyone in the room, including the VJs.
Kelly Clarkson seemed to be honestly, truly, genuinely nice. She was friendly and amiable to those clamoring for her attention, and was poised without it seeming forced on camera. Hilary Duff seemed, well, 15. She’s younger than the Olsen twins. That’s all I have to say about her.
We screamed, and woo-ed, and clapped, all under the watchful instruction of the PBBW. I tried my best not to be obscured by the four foot ten inch woman next to me, who kept climbing on the bleachers to get closer to Kelly Clarkson. She was admonished twice by crew members.
Finally, Al and her two co-trivia contest winners made their brief on-camera appearance. Right after that, the show was over, and we were all hastily escorted out of the studios. I received a free Hilary Duff CD which I’ve given to one of my teenaged cousins. I also received a “MTV moon man” key chain, which I will keep for myself. I am going to do my best to not have to be forcefully compelled to “woo!” again for quite a while. I think I was on camera once or twice, right over Kelly Clarkson's left shoulder.
Stay tuned for more from my three days with MTV.
